LESLIE REYNOSO
“My Identity is no longer in my attractions but in Christ. I no longer desire to be with a woman: I desire what Jesus wants for my life. I am in love with how he created me to be!”
Growing up in a non-Christian household, I didn’t have friends or family who believed in God and His word. I can’t recall a time when I had someone preach the gospel to me as a child/young adult. I felt depressed and tired, often wondering if there was more to life than the way I was choosing to live. I sought out pornography, drugs, and alcohol as ways to escape the chaos in my life. I got into relationships with women hoping to fill the longing inside me for something more. I was yearning for the approval of others but realized no label was going to fix what felt like a broken identity. Peace and acceptance were my heart’s desire, and yet nothing seemed to fill the void. Shame and hiding became part of my daily life. I was hopeless and felt far from God.
The rejection I felt from women created in me a deep desire to connect with them. I always felt pushed aside because I enjoyed doing things other women didn’t appear to be doing. I thought femininity came from being a certain way, and I felt unable to relate as a woman to other women. I tried to justify my lifestyle through listening to teachings by LGBT Christians. I thought "He must have made me this way". This thought changed when I asked God to show me the truth about my lifestyle. And He did! I initially ignored it because I did not want to surrender that part of my life. I was afraid of being alone until Jesus told me I would never go through anything alone.
One day, after having a serious panic attack, I called out to the Lord, and He answered. I still remember the voice in my head saying, " If you were to die today, where would you go?". I immediately thought of the answer and I wept and asked God to help me. I surrendered my life and my sexuality to God in July of 2019. Since then, I have been walking out life with Jesus and letting Him guide me each step of the way. I feel peace and security in my identity as a female for the first time. I have allowed Jesus to show me what my identity is and have realized that femininity is not determined by how I dress or look. It is determined by who my Heavenly Father says I am. I am a daughter and a woman of God because He says so, not because of how others view me.
I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I love the woman I am becoming as I let Jesus mold me and show me who I am. My identity is no longer in my attractions but in Christ. I no longer desire to be with a woman: I desire what Jesus wants for my life. I am in love with how He created me to be!